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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?